Death comes for Stan
by Dalek Prime
Summary: After suffering a real heart attack, Stan meets Death herself and the long-time con artist is about to discover that this one situation he can't lie his way out of.


A/N: I don't own Gravity Falls or Sandman

* * *

Death comes for Stan

"Ugh…what happened?" the old man grumbled as he got back to his feet, he couldn't remember how he blacked out or why he was outside, but what he did know was when he got back to the Mystery Shack someone was going to yelled at for the sole purpose of making himself better

However as he started off back to his home, he passed by a group of people who were crowded together in a circle and while he couldn't make out the exact words among the crowd, what he could understand was that some of them sounded saddened; while the other half sounded happy. As Stan approached the gathering people, they seemed to part out of his way without making eye contact with him or even noticing him. When he got to the center of the commotion he saw Soos, Wendy and his Niece and Nephew crying as they watched a man being hauled away into an ambulance.

A man who looked exactly like him.

As the ambulance drove away and the crowd of people left the scene, the old man's family and employee's began to walk back to the Mystery Shack, still with tears flowing from their eyes. Stan tried to call out to them, but they didn't even acknowledge him in the slightest. He raced up to Mabel and reached out to grab her shoulder in order to get attention, but to his horror; his hand pass right through her chest, he jerk it back instantly as if he had touched a hot stove.

"What the hell is going on?" Stan almost shouted in a panic

"It's quite simply really" a young feminine voice coolly from behind him answered

The elder man turned around to find the source of the voice, only to find a young girl who looked no more than sixteen years old with pale skin and jet black hair. The teen was dressed in head to toe in all black with an Egyptian ankh necklace and was holding a black umbrella in her hand, which she was currently had slung against her shoulder. The goth also had a sweet and comforting grin on her face that seemed to almost to calm the old man down a little bit.

"You just died" she finished sweetly

And just like that, all of the calmness Stan was starting to feel went right out the window.

"What do you mean I just I died?!" the con-artist exclaimed "I'm right here alive and well!"

"Right and I suppose that other person we just saw being taken to the hospital was your stunt double?" the goth replied sarcastically, but not in an offensive manner

"Hey I've paid good money that I may or may not have taken legally to pay for stunt doubles before" Stan defended before changing the subject to the person before him "who are you anyway, and why are you the only person who can hear me?"

"I'm Death" she simply introduced herself

At first Stan could only stare in disbelief for several seconds, then he began to snicker and a few more seconds later he was howling with laughter; Death only rolled her eyes playfully at this the man's antics, this wasn't the first time a person broke into hysterical laughter at her appearance, since most humans expected a tall skeleton in robes carrying a scythe.

"Death yeah, right "The greedy old man chuckled out, wiping away a tear from his eye that leaked out during his fit of laughter "You look like a reject from the Marilyn Manson fan club"

The girl shook her shook lightly at that remark, knowing that like most others who encountered her; this man needed to shown a sliver of her power. She then walked up to him and gave him a gently touch on the nose, suddenly Stan appendage began to rot away, making him jump back in total shock.

"Holy crap in a hat!" he shouted as he watched his nose begin to return to normal "alright, alright already! I believe you!"

"I thought you'd come to your senses" Death answered with a small giggle at the con-artist's reaction to her power

"Ok…so you are Death, t-then that mean's I really am…" Stan really didn't want to finish that sentence "how did it happen?"

"You mean you don't remember?" the Endless questioned, in which Stan shook his head in response "It's ok, it happened so fast I doubt you can even recall how it all started; ok, here's how you died: you were yelling at some guy who you thought didn't pay fully for one of your gift shop t-shirts, the man said he didn't and tried to leave, but you followed him outside and continued to yell at him, until your blood pressure went a bit too high and then…well…I guess you can figure out the rest"

"I…I think I need to sit down…"the con-artist managed to choke out as he sat down on a nearby rock

The long time thief had to process everything that he was just told. For years he used the classic 'old man heart-attack' on unwitting people in order to get what he wanted, he never thought that it would actuality happen to him. Even though the irony felt like a kick in groin right now, he refused to just lie down and take this. That was when Stan had an idea: he'd cheat Death.

"Alight so what do I have to do to get out of this mess?" he asked as he stood back up to face Death "what do you want; name and I'll get it for you, as long as it's cheap"

"I'm sorry Stan" she replied "but there's nothing you can offer me to change this"

"What if someone took my place?" Stan tried to reason "Take Soos, I'm sure be willing to take my place"

"It doesn't work like that" Death mentioned in almost a somber tone, still keeping her cool; as if she pitied this man

"But what if-"

"No"

"Can't I just-"

"No"

"Maybe if I-"

"No"

"How about I-"

"Look I'm sorry, but there's nothing you can do or say that is going to change this" Death said, ending Stan's pleas "You dead, simple as that"

Stan felt his stomach do back flips inside of him when Death said that. The reality of his predicament finally came full circle and it was slapping him across the face, he was dead and that was the end of it. He hung his head low in defeat as he began to think of everything was going to be leaving behind, his home, his employee's and most of all Dipper and Mabel. He began to wonder what would their lives be like without him, would they even care once the initial shock of his death had worn off. He looked back up at Death, still staying patient with him, the goth dressed entity walked up to the elderly man and once again gave him a warm look.

"I'm not doing this to you do be a jerk, it's just how these things work out" she explained

"So what happens now?" he asked

"Now we're going take a look at your entire life in a review" the Endless answered "you know that saying 'seeing your life flash before your eyes'? Well this is it"

With a snap of her fingers, Death made the entire surrounding area become pitch black and with a wave of her hand she creates images that detailed every single aspect of Stanford Pines life, even the things he kept hidden from those around. Some of the things that the two reviewed even intrigued Death.

"You've lead a rather interesting life" Death began as she held the bottom of her umbrella to her chin in interest "I don't judge, but you keep a lot of secrets"

"Hey I'm not proud of some of the things I've done in my life, but I did them for a reason" Stan objected

"Take it easy, like I said I'm not here to judge; that's not my department" The Endless defended "I'm just being what I've always been: fair"

"Well thanks for that, but I don't think I'll need a judge, because I have a sure fire idea as to where I'm going" the con-artist replied, slightly saddened

"Can I ask you something?" Death questioned "out of curiosity; if you had the chance, would you do anything over again?"

Stan crossed his arms and thought about Death's question for a few seconds; weighing the weight of those words in his head before giving an answer.

"No, I wouldn't" he finally replied "like I said I'm not proud of what I've done in the past, but I'd do it all again and I'll be glad to tell that to the guy who run things downstairs"

"I see..." was all Death could say "well it's good that you're not going anywhere anytime soon"

"What do you mean?" Stan inquired "you said I was dead, am I or not?"

"Oh your dead alright" she quipped "but I never said you going to stay dead"

Before the owner of the Mystery Shack could question any further, a blinding flash of light engulfed him, the last thing he saw was Death waving goodbye to him.

* * *

"_Where am I now?_" Stan thought to himself before opening his eyes

The old man slowly opened his eyes and to his relief he was neither heaven nor hell, but lying in a hospital bed surrounded with Dipper and Mabel on each side of the bed and Soos and Wendy standing at the foot of the bed, who all looked relieved at the sight of their boss and great uncle was ok.

"Grunkle Stan's alive!" Mabel exclaimed in joy as she leapt at her great uncle and wrapped him up in a tight hug

"Yeah, yeah I'm ok now get off of me!" Stan snapped as he shoved the girl off of his body

"The doctor's spent a half hour to bring you back to life" Soos explained

"Which reminds me, don't look at the medical bill until we get home" Dipper added "we don't want you to relapse so soon"

"Alright, now get back to the Shack you bums!" he commanded "I want that place spotless by the time I get back there!"

As he watched the four people who actuality cared about him leave the room, he remembered what Death said to him before he left her presence and for moment he considered calling them all back and telling them everything he kept from them.

"Nah"

The End


End file.
